Mistress Zaynab's
Diary
Friday, March 27, 2009
Holland!
I am just finishing up My art residency in Nijmegen, Netherlands. The book I worked on all week is being printed as I type.
Tomorrow morning I'm off to Amsterdam for several days of kinky funtime!
But first, Edward Ka-spel from the Legendary Pink Dots (a favorite band of mine) will be playing in this very place tonight! Imagine the serendipity!
I've been living here at Extrapool just long enough to feel like family. Their hospitality is unmatched! The shower is clean and always hot, and the mattresses are firm and comfy, and the kitchen is beautiful and well stocked with vegetarian delights. The walls are covered in original wallpaper, printed here, and created by the people who live and visit here.
Next door is a squat run by anarchists. In case you didn't know squatting in Netherlands is quite sophisticated. You can move into an abandoned building, fix it up, and then become the legal tenants via an alternative housing organization. SO when I say squat, I mean super fantastic beautifully modernly renovated space (using plentiful government funds) designed and maintained with loving care. They are even opening a nice little vegan cafe.
It's nice to have a week to just hang out and be an artist. I've been so business running Holy Mountain I've neglected that part of Myself a bit too much lately.
Enough for now. Hope to see you when I return to Chicago. I will be recharged and in the mood for play!
kisses and smacks,
MZ
Saturday, March 14, 2009
The Friendly Sadist
Lately, I've been feeling like the Friendly Sadist, and the Benevolent Queen. Something within Me always wants the best for everyone, even if that means the best endorphin rush from the best caning you have ever had. Or sometimes it means shaping one to be the best most graceful servant one can be so that one has a sense of pride and worthiness in one's submission. I like to be pleased more than anything, and I like those who feel a thrill in pleasing. I want the best. I want unworthy wriggling purposeless worms to become skilled, purposeful, worthy slaves.
Stop flopping about, going from one experience to another, never quite fulfilled in your role. I offer an opportunity to find real focus. It is no coincidence that My slaves become better men. I would not be boasting if I admitted to you that one man who was given the prognosis of three years to live now thrives at My feet, through My command. That was more than 5 years ago, and he is still quite healthy and active. All he needed was purpose and guidance. he needed to serve.
Some beg to be broken. I think you may already be broken. Broken by life. It does not take long for Me to see it. Therefore, My job is not to break you. Nor do I claim to fix all that is broken. But I do offer a different perspective that will make your heart and body lighter for having experienced it. It is quite an unconventional path to self improvement, but it does work.
One cannot be a lazy servant. That does not last for long. A devotee's role is to put out effort to please. I remain here with the knowledge to give you purpose and a journey to change your life. But I'm not just going to hand it to you because you gave me a few hundred dollars. I'm not an enlightenment vending machine. That is not to say it is difficult to receive My guidance. It just means being truthful with yourself and with Me, and cultivating an ability to follow directions.
If, for example, I give one an instruction to keep a journal and write in it every day, it should never matter whether or not I read that journal every day. When I do read it, there should be an entry for every day of the week. If one makes excuses and lets it slide, then My own interest wanes and I turn My attention to those who are truly committed. I turn My attention to those who are earnestly cultivating the ability to follow directions.
The same applies to those who speak strongly of wanting to be owned and shaped by Me, and then stop asking for sessions, waiting for Me to summon. I'm not going to chase after you. It is your job to come to Me and tell Me when you are available to serve, and THEN wait patiently. With that knowledge, I can decide when it is appropriate to summon you (which will be far more often than those who never make contact). Be submissive, not passive.
As I said, I want the best for everyone. If I hurt you, I do so to make you better. If I criticize it is with the expectation of change.
I live by one law: If it harm none, do what you will. There are two parts to this. Harming none does not mean never cause physical pain or psychological struggle. It means doing no real harm or real damage to the core of another's being. It means leaving people better off having encountered Me, and never worse. The second part is about true will. My true will is to be worshiped and obeyed. My true will is to guide others through transcendent experiences to find their own true will. And many who come to Me find that their true will, the thing that makes them feel whole and healthy and sane, is to submit and to serve. Others discover that BDSM is simply fun recreation, and that's fine too.
Reading this you may not even know what your true will is. In fact it is difficult for some submissives to believe that they have a true will at all, as they would rather bow to the will of another. But oddly enough that genuflection is also a result of one's true will.
Keep in touch through the rest of March. I will be looking forward to resuming sessions upon My return. I have a few special slots of time reserved for special slaves before my departure. If you can take advantage, do so. If not, I will see you in April.
MZ
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Order My DVD
My Temple, Holy Mountain, just released Our first DVD compilation. It's now available on Amazon.com:
Order Now!
MZ
Thursday, March 05, 2009
submissive girl
I have the pleasure of having a submissive female come to visit Me next weekend. Anyone interested in sessions with her should contact Me soon.
Her name is lo, and she is petite, young, and busty. I hear from a reliable source that she is quite obedient and up for just about anything.
I am feeling a bit better and the gifts are really brightening My spirits. Come and play with Me next week and the following week before I take off for the Netherlands!
MZ
P.S. When I return in April I will be interviewing for a special new slave with the means and availability to do one full day long session per week (serving, playing, pampering, experimenting).
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
double whammy
This winter has not been kind to Mistress. This is my third illness since November. Today's double whammy: a horrid cold and menstrual cramps.
Granted I am exposed to more people now that I run a business, and I've been a little more stressed this year with the new Temple to run. But I take good care of My health so this endless series of ailments seems wholly unfair.
In defiance , and to make up for lost time, beginning early next week, when I know I will be well, I want to do a session everyday before My journey. I leave on the 19th for two weeks. I'll be staying at an artist's retreat called Extrapool in Nijmegen, Netherlands, making print art, showing movies, and going to shows. Nijmegen is the home of one of my favorite musicians! After that it's back into Amsterdam to visit museums and sex clubs.
Mistress Isobel and Miss Mara will be running the Holy Mountain while I'm away.
I won't be back until April, so please make your appointments soon! Feel free to give the gift of extra tribute so I can cover My bills while I'm gone. And get-well gifts from my wish lists would really lift My spirits this week.
MZ
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Mistress Zaynab shares her experiences, thoughts,
and musings.
previous posts
Holland!
The Friendly Sadist
Order My DVD
submissive girl
double whammy
Very good
testing
Am I ignoring you?
$500 to go
wise words
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